I can’t believe I’m actually having to write about failure…but I’ve noticed an alarming trend …coaches quit or resign from sports because of the politics of being a coach. Parents who love their kids (not a bad thing mind you) all believe they deserve playing time because, darn it, they are just so good at (insert sport here). Parents (and I am one) time to grow up. We are NOT objective observers in our childrens future. It’s time to listen up (or read up I guess).
Don’t get me wrong it’s important to encourage our children and make sure that they play some sort of organized sport in order to learn how to be part of a team. But that does not entitle them to play after a certain point. I believe it’s fine to let all kids on the team play if the sport they’re playing is not considered “competitive”.. Because at that point they’re playing just for fun and it should be fun. However, once you enter the world of competitive sports it’s important for you as a parent to understand that the coach is there to win games and to teach our children what’s necessary, including recognizing that they may not be the best player, in order to win games.
This fosters many life lessons, learning how to be a productive member of a team, understanding your role in the bigger picture, and the hardest one of all accepting what you are good at and what you are not good at.
Which brings us to the original Concept behind this article, failure. Learning to cope with failure is the single most important lesson an athlete or any child for that matter, has to deal with.
Winning is easy. You shake the other person’s hand and you graciously say good game. What’s more difficult is giving a 100% and still coming up short. It may not even have been your fault that your team lost. It could have been someones else on your team that was the reason you didn’t win (or even multiple people). This is the important lesson, because as part of a team we are always taught win as a team, lose as a team.
Failure has a distinct role to play in our lives. It teaches us that we can always work harder and always be better. Losing provides the motivation and drive to be better. It pushes a true athlete to work even harder than they did before. The feeling of coming up short… that horrible sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach in that final moment, when all is lost… it’s that feeling you never want to experience again. That is why you pick yourself up, and you go to the gym before everyone else, you stay after everyone has left, and you just work harder than ever. Each loss you take upon yourself to be better, to pick up the slack for someone else, or perhaps you help a teammate and begin to mentor them, teach them your work ethic, and help them find that push they need to reach the next plateau.
It’s this kind of attitude that leads others by example. You don’t have to talk about being good, you don’t have to puff out your chest and proclaim your skill… no, you just show up play. You will elevate those around you to be better, and that, well that’s a lesson that can ONLY be found in the depths of failure.
So you lost…. well, now what are YOU going to do about it?
Softball Nation 365 