Well, it’s May. The Conference is in full swing. Many teams are already battling it out and looking forward to the World Series, others are making adjustments to schedules and Rosters, trying to find that elusive mixture that will take them to the Championship.
I think one of the best topics to write about is the death of the true meaning of Sportsmanship. By this I don’t mean shaking hands at the end of a game, telling the other team “good game” or “good luck guys”. Major or lower ball player, most of us can still shake hands and show respect at the end of a game. That is not what I am referring to.
Sportsmanship: Conduct (as fairness, respect for one’s opponent, and graciousness in winning or losing) becoming to one participating in a sport.
It’s sad that in today’s world kids are raised so “everyone’s a winner”. It’s bullshit. The reason the United States advanced in major fields like technology, warfare, and medicine is our never say die, never give up, never quit attitude. Because of this our country has survived and thrived, for the simple reason we knew one simple truth “You win. Period. There are no trophies for second place”. In the “modern” world of today all kids make the team, all kids get trophies and they are all told “You can be anything you want”. They get trophies for just playing the game, and those trophies are called “Participation Trophies”. What the hell? That’s complete crap. Since when do we give out awards for showing up?
I help coach my son’s little league team. I know many of those kids will never be ball players. Lying to them feels like it’s much worse than telling them “you’re not good at this, but maybe you’d be great at another sport”. They want to be part of a team. I get that. There are many lessons to be learned when you are on a team, and many of those lessons are valuable. However, the biggest lesson, that of not being the starter, riding the bench and waiting your chance to play or be in the lineup is overlooked. There are 13 kids on my son’s team. I have 13 kids in the lineup every week. Not my best 9. Every kid on the team. Even if that kid can’t tell which end of the bat to grip, they get to hit.
Remember when we were kids? Remember the day that it was time for baseball tryouts? I do. I remember because I didn’t practice, and thought I could make the team without much effort. I was wrong. When I was 9 I failed to get picked for a Little League team. Did I give up? Hell no. I used that failure (because that’s what it was) as motivation. I practiced every day that I could for the next 12 months to get ready for try-outs.
I wasn’t the fastest, and I wasn’t the best fielder, but I could throw 5-10 MPH faster than most kids my age, and I worked on it. I hit baseballs off a T for hours, trying to find just the right form. I threw baseballs for hours at a tire hanging on the wall of one of our Tractor sheds. I played in every pickup game around the neighborhood I could find, just so I could hit against real pitching. The following year I was one of the first kids picked.
I made the team because I practiced for hours to be better. I was never good enough to make the all-star team until I was in Babe Ruth League. I never quit. I never played down. I always try to play at the highest level, even if I’m not one of the top guys, I play hard and practice to be better.
Would I take being a starter on a “D” team over being a role player on a conference team? Never. I can’t even fathom that logic…yet the 20 -30 year olds of today would rather play “D” and win a T-Shirt than struggle to get better while getting their ass kicked in “C” and watching, and waiting for that opportunity to play Conference ball.
Opinions on this vary. I don’t doubt that many will say I’m wrong. I have nothing to base my opinion on other than what I have seen or read over the last few years. One thing I do believe though, is that our Local and State directors haven’t killed the local programs. Nor has any one association, be it USSSA, ASA, NSA or any organization. Players with the wrong attitude have.
They’d rather accept a trophy for being average, then lose on the big field to Resmondo, Laser Vision, or one of the other showcase Major teams. Not me. I’ll take my ass kicking and come back, again and again and again… Until we win or I retire. No way in hell will I accept anything else, nor will I let my son if I have anything to do about it. I don’t lie to him. I don’t coddle him. I tell him to go to the cages with me, and hit. I measure off the distance for a pitcher’s mound to home plate and then for as long as my knees can stand it, I squat and let him pitch to me. I tell him that he won’t make it on talent alone. He has to work and be dedicated. I try to show him my work ethic by going to hit every day and taking him with me whenever I have him.
That’s how we change this game we love. Teach the next generation(s) that losing is a part of life. It’s what you do after that loss that defines you, shapes you and help make you the man you can be and should be.
The biggest thing that gets overlooked in my mind is that losing teaches humility. Not being good enough is why we try harder. What child is enticed to do beyond the bare minimum if they are told that’s good enough? This is not just a softball issue. This is a cultural divide. “Modern” society is teaching us not to spank our kids. To reward mediocrity. To avoid confrontation and that even if you lose you win. What BS is this?
When these kids get older and discover that the world doesn’t hand out a trophy for second place, or participation what’s going to happen?
You know why we hear about shaved bats, steroids and all the other “problems” with softball? Because the guys that lost don’t know how to deal with it like a man. No one wins every game. You will lose. What you do and how you conduct yourself when you lose is the true measure of a man. I respect the guys I play against. I respect the guys that lose to us and are still genuine in their comments of “good game” and “good luck”. Those are the guys we should want our children to be like.